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9.06.2009

OCD is a dish best enjoyed alone...

I consider myself a fairly normal person, most days. I enjoy life and try not to sweat the small stuff. But under the surface lies a control freak with some serious OCD that, every now and again, rears her ugly head. I don't know when the OCD will strike, but it's always lurking, just waiting for something totally ridiculous and trivial to obsess over.

Today began with normal Lauren - I got up, enjoyed a healthy breakfast of yogurt and granola with fresh strawberries (delicious AND nutritious) and then got ready to join my friend and her girls at the beach. Off to the beach we went for a short but lovely bit of sand and sun. Being that it's September in Florida, the temperature by 1pm actually rivaled Hell, so 2 hours was the absolute limit.

I thought to myself, "Great - I can catch a quick shower and then head to the Publix to take care of some grocery shopping - and still get something accomplished! Perfect!" Ha Ha! What's that big pink elephant doing in the corner? Oh, that? That's just my OCD.

I arrived home to an empty house. Jim was off at his 18th fantasy football draft this year or something, so it was just me, the dog and my OCD. I thought, "I'll just put these few dishes in the dishwasher before I hop in the shower." Then, "Oh - I'll just scrub the inside of the microwave really quick. You know, with bleach." Which turned into "Look - the crumbs from the dishwasher are on the kitchen floor, I'll just sweep, and while I'm at it, mop the entire house."

NOTE: Never, ever put white and black checker-board tiles in your kitchen. Or anywhere for that matter. Sure they're cute and kitschy, but do you know that they're NEVER CLEAN?? Not even for 10 minutes. If it doesn't show up on the black tiles, it damn sure will show up on the white tiles. Trust me on this. It might just save your sanity.

But I digress. The icing on this pretty little OCD cake was me on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor, still in my bathing suit from the beach, mind you, scrubbing the grout with hydrogen peroxide (it cleans AND sanitizes!) and an old Cinderella Spin-Pro toothbrush. I should point out that I haven't scrubbed the grout in about a month, so it really, REALLY needed it. Or so I told myself. It's totally normal to scrub your grout like, every 30 days, right?? Right?!?

Now you'll have to excuse me - I can actually hear the dirt and germs on the bathroom floor begging to be eviscerated.