- Was someone chasing you? {Cardio...it's how I KNOW I'll outrun your ass when the Zombie Apocalypse happens...because it will, you know.}
- Don't you know how bad running is for your knees?? {Don't you know how bad sitting on the couch is for your WHOLE FREAKIN' BODY?? Apparently not.}
- You RAN xx miles?!? I don't even like to DRIVE that far! {Shocking. Based on your svelt stature, I never would have guessed.}
So anyways...I might be willing to concede that those of us who willingly choose to sacrifice the comfort of our pre-dawn beds to pound out mileage before the sun decides to show it's beastly head are just a little touched. And by touched, I mean bat-shit crazy. Agreed. However, marathon training throws a whole new level of whackiness onto the crazy-parade.
I'm not one of those runners that ever, ever says, pre- or mid-run "WOW! I LOVE RUNNING!!" I actually can't stand getting up at the ass-crack of dawn. I'm not really a fan of pain in any form, and sweating is gross. But what I do L O V E is the sense of accomplishment that I get when I'm done with a run. I mean, like, in the car on the way home after. Not immediately after. I want to puke in a bush immediately after most runs. So I have this constant battle when I'm preparing for a race...on top of the physical challenge of running 1.7 gazillion miles in a week, training is mentally hard.
I go through these mental cycles...for weeks at a time I'm hopped up like a toddler on pixy stix - I (mostly) look forward to my next run, I read every running related anything that lands in my inbox, I google things like hydration and vo2 max (which is WAY over my feeble little brain's capacity), and I truly don't hate my runs. I feel a great sense of accomplishment after a run's completion, and during these "good" weeks, I feel like my workouts are really solid. Training is GREAT! Running is THE BEST! I am an ATHLETE!! Yea me.
And then I have weeks like the past two weeks. I. Hate. Every. Run. Long run...short run...intervals...HATEFUL. I'm annoyed, I don't want to train anymore ever again, I wonder why the hell I signed up for another stupid marathon...blah...blah...blah.
I haven't yet figured out the trigger to the "bad" weeks, but I can assure you that they're bad. I can justify completely bagging a run for the silliest of reasons (I CAN'T possibly run 4 miles by myself! It might rain in the next county. I don't have a single clean pair of shorts...I can go on for days). And when I do manage to actually get my clean shorts on and head out the door during a bad week, the runs suck. One mile in and I'm certain that I can't finish that day's mileage. Everything hurts, it's hotter than hell, I'm not properly hydrated, mercury is in retrograde, my calf might be broken and I just don't wanna. Gutting it out through a bad training week is just shy of shoving bamboo sticks under my fingernails in the realm of torture. And I choose to do this.
So yea...runners are nuts. On top of self-induced physical abuse, we're mentally abusive TO OUR OWN SELVES. And this good week/bad week stuff? 'Tis but a toe in the pond of distance runner crazy.
Runners: How do you get through a bad training week?
Non-runners: Does it frighten you that you're zombie bait?
