Super-important backstory: During my non-blogger blogging hiatus, I've taken up running. Distance running, actually. Not full-bore crazy-talk ultras (you ultra peeps are NUTS), but I've ran my way through a marathon or two. Two...to be exact. Half-marathons? Yea...I've done some of those, too. Here's the thing about all that running. When you're a mid-packer-at-best like moi, it takes a REALLY. LONG. TIME. to run that far. So my concept of "exercise time" is totally whacked. Like, demented. I vaguely remember a point in my life where doing any sort of physical fitness activity for more than say, 15 minutes, seemed like a LOT of exercise. Now I actually choose to participate in, and pay hard-earned money for, events where I run for HOURS. Like...almost 5 hours. As a matter of fact, I no longer even lace up a pair of running shoes for much less than a 30-minute run...I'm just getting warmed up at the 30-minute mark, for Pete's sake!
I came back to running in January of 2010 - and went from my first 5k in February to my first full marathon in December of the same year. I skipped right over the half-marathon thing...those who love me might say I'm a little obsessive...perhaps I become fixated (see previous 4-year-old blog posts)...whatever the case, I got hooked and have been covering large distances on my feet ever since.
My first marathon was a debacle. From my half-assed training attempt to the race-day logistics, it was not one's ideal marathon experience. My goal was simply to finish. I had hopes of coming across the finish line in less than 5 hours, but I was perfectly happy with my 5:15 finish time. And, during this training I made some of the very, very best friends a girl could ask for. Amber Bell. Kelly Hildenbrand. I *heart* you both.
I decided that my first marathon was lacking the big race experience...so for my second marathon I ran ING Miami with 25,000+ of my closest friends in January 2013. I got quite a bit more serious about training and found some fellow pain-junkies to keep me accountable (shout out to Rich and Dean, my marathon-training-brothers-from-another-mother). I set a totally reachable goal of "anything south of 5 hours." I was really hoping for something in the 4:30 range, but I didn't want to disappoint myself - so I was pleased as punch with my 4:49 finish time (yea, that's a 25 minute PR, thankyouvermuch).
So...as I was saying, my concept of 15 minutes worth of exercise is a little out there. I mean SERIOUSLY. How much damage could I possibly do in 15 minutes?
HA.
HILARIOUS. I'm LOLing all over the place.
End backstory.
I'm training for Marine Corps Marathon in Washington D.C. on October 27th and I'm super-stoked. This will be my third full-marathon, and the ENTIRE event from packet pick-up to water-stops to finishers medals is handled by ACTIVE. DUTY. MARINES. Pretty amazing. Like, one of the best marathon experiences in the world, according to lots of people who have completed many more than 2 marathons in their day. I'm probably not Boston Marathon material at this point in my life because I would rather sit on my couch with my husband and my dog and eat chocolate ice cream than put in the crazy training necessary for my slow-ass to get up to BAA standards. So Marine Corps Marathon is kinda my holy grail race. And I've decided that if I'm going to spend the money to do this destination race, and give another 4 months of my life to marathon training, I'm going to make this for reals, yo. Sub 4:30 is
So for this go-round, in addition to my training accountability buddies, I decided I needed a coach. Someone who would put together a custom-tailored plan to help me kick some 4:30 ass. Someone who would shame me into every run because I do NOT want to report back that I decided to drink a bottle of wine instead of run 7 miles. Oh...and that whole "paying someone to hold you accountable" thing helps too. Just saying.
I spent the first 4 weeks zipping through most of my running workouts, and was actually feeling like I've accomplished something...feeling stronger...good stuff. Also during those first 4 weeks??? I was blissfully unaware. You might even say naive and trusting.
Enter week 5...time to work on Core Strength. To
Here's the scary part. I made it through the workout mostly unscathed. It wasn't even that hard. I woke up the next morning and plowed through a 5 mile run before the sun even came up. No prob! Ab ripper? I can totally do that whole workout. What's the big deal??
Let me tell you the BIG HAIRY DEAL: I almost died. No seriously. The pain set in roughly 12 hours post-workout. By day two, I was wishing for death. On DAY FOUR post workout-from-hell I couldn't even stand up straight. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm a total wimp. You're thinking I'm being dramatic. Perhaps a little diva-esque, even. YOU'RE WRONG. Heed my warning, people! Listen to me when I tell you: P90X Ab Ripper is the work of the devil. If you want to do workouts designed by Satan himself, that's your prerogative. Go right ahead. Taking your whining elsewhere when you can't even lay down without sniveling and whimpering.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I, on the other hand, get to do it again tomorrow - 'cause I am SO not telling Coach that I can't do it again...he might come up with something even WORSE to torture me with. So if you see me walkin' by...and the tears are in my eye...it's certainly due to Ab Ripper. Stay tuned for more adventures in marathon training...101 days 'till we toe the line. HoooRAAAHHHH!!
