Stalling

I decided this week that I was going to start blogging. Now, this wasn't totally an out-of-left-field, hey I'm bored, ooh something shiny! type of a decision. Not totally. I actually have contemplated blogging a few differnt times in the past. Like the time that I was en route to a client's "corporate headquarters" and was held up for 20 minutes due to the cows that wouldn't get out of the middle of the road. Que the music from Deliverance, my friends. Or the time that all of our friends took the kids on a Disney Cruise together. Mickey didn't see that insanity coming...and the poor mouse didn't stand a chance. There have been several times in my life that I've thought I really should be documenting this.

So why this week? Thanks to the wonderfulness that is Facebook (where else can you spend hours upon hours stalking people that you haven't talked to in years, and didn't really know that well even when you did see them on a regular basis? What...is that just me?) I came across the blog of a long-lost friend from High School, and it's riot! I'm talking serious high comedy. And the best part is that it's just her life. On the internet, for all to see. So I decided that I was going to give it shot.

I held a little contest on Facebook and asked my friends for blog name suggestions...grand prize was an ice cream cone cupcake baked by yours truly. That didn't go so well. The whole string of ideas quickly deteriorated into ways that my nickname could be paired with funny dirty words. I love my friends. So "North of Paradise" it is. I'm sure at some point in the near future, when I'm at a loss for blogging topics I'll dive into the deeper meaning there, but not today. Then I headed over to blogger.com and figured out how to navigate this place.

Now, there's things I'm not happy with. First, I want a fun template. Something pink or shiny or with a palm tree. But I can't find one yet, and every time I try to look I get totally annoyed and overwhelmed and then I go eat a cupcake. Second, we need a new computer something fierce. I'm currently working from Jim's computer, which is actually older than my laptop, but slightly more stable. My laptop started leaking acid from the battery area not long ago...so like I said...new computer is a necessity. So it dawned on me last night, while lying in bed, reviewing in my brain the 8 million blog templates I had just looked through, that I was stalling. I could NOT decided on a topic to write about. This has caused serious grief in my life for days. I've got blog topic ideas for the next 2 years, but none of them seemed "first-blog-attempt-worthy." We're talking full-on writer's block that I just can't seem to work through. So here it is. My first blog is about my inablity to actually create a first blog.

It will get better here, I promise. I am interesting and witty and fun...just you wait and see. Here's 25 random things that are kind of funny:

1. I envy children in pre-school because they get to take naps everyday. The value of a good nap is truly under-rated in American society.
2. I have a pretty cool life. I have a family that loves me, the greatest friends ever and high hopes for my future.
3. I am truly blessed to have a boyfriend who truly appreciates me and understands the wonderfulness that is Lauren.
4. My boyfriend's daugther is the cutest, smartest and most amazing little person ever - I'm blessed to have the privledge of being in her life.
5. I truly dislike cats, but have 2. Glutton for punishment much?
6. When it is anything less than 70 outside, it's COLD...like certifiably, I need a jacket. I am a cold weather pansy.
7. I have a 3 year plan.
8. I think text messaging is over rated. Pick up the phone, please. Unless I don't want to talk to you. Then, please text.
9. While it's been a rough week, I still love my job and really enjoying being at work every day.
10. On the other hand, getting up to go to work is still my least favorite thing to do all day. I am NOT a morning person.
11. I hate doing laundry. I am also not a huge fan of cleaning in general. I do, however, hate a dirty house. Quite the conundrum.
12. I am a raving bitch when I'm hungry.
13. My dog is the coolest dog on the planet and you should be jealous. My dog is way cooler than your dog. It's not even a contest. My dog is so cool he even has his own Dogbook.
14. I have an aversion to eggs because in my mind I connect them with baby chickens. Every bite makes me a little bit more squeamish.
15. I question, occasionally, how I made it through college alive.
16. I have a fear of heights. Not the healthy, keep you safe type of fear...the type of fear that makes me stay as far away from the edge of balconies as is humanly possible. The type of fear that makes driving over the Sunshine Skyway in Tampa a white-knuckle experience. The type of fear that prohibits me from "enjoying the view" from the top of a mountain, building or anything higher than a speedbump.
17. I start thinking about dinner at roughly 2pm every day. By dinner time, I still have no clue what I want to actually eat and drive Jim insane on a daily basis by answering "What do you want for dinner?" with "Something yummy."
18. I have the attention span of a 4-year-old hopped up on Pixy Stix. Concentrating on just about anything for more than, say, 48 seconds is a true challenge.
19. I think Wal-Mart is the evil empire. I avoid it at all costs. Here's why: I go in there with a list of SPECIFIC ITEMS I need to purchase. I head down the aisle, and before I know it I'm like "Oh...something shiny!" 45 minutes later I snap out of my stupor while I'm standing in the camping goods section looking at fishing lures and I realize that my cart is full of crap that I don't need and I still haven't gotten ANYTHING on my damn list.
20. Reading celebrity gossip on the Internet is one of my dirty pleasures.
21. I am perfectly happy sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and my dog, watching a CSI/Law & Order marathon on any given Friday night.
22. While I can watch said shows for hours on end, I have a total inability to watch more than 20 minutes of a movie. I pass out almost before the opening credits are over. Needless to say, Jim and I have only ever gone to see 2 movies in the theater in our almost 5 years together.
23. I love the beach yet can't seem to find enough hours in the day to actually go there. And I only live 25 minutes away. I need to re-address my priorities.
24. I miss my family and wish they didn't live so far away - although I won't even entertain the idea of moving back to the Arctic North.
25. I am a total control-freak. I need to do everything myself because I do it better than everyone else. If I can actually get to the point where I attempt to delegate a task, I drive the delegatee nuts because I tell them how to do every step of the task. I should just do things myself. It will make life easier for everyone else. Is delegatee actually a word?

Stay tuned for better content. Let's all hope, anyways.